


Baby Don't Hang Up So I Can Tell You What You Need To Know

by Nightwing11



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, Let's be real it's me and I believe in decently ever after, M/M, Protective Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2015-05-22
Packaged: 2018-03-31 16:51:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3985594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightwing11/pseuds/Nightwing11
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by this prompt on tumblr:</p><p>Person B knowing they’re undoubtedly about to die within the next few seconds, likely from the gaping wound they’re bleeding out from. Instead of calling for help, they phone Person A and carry on a casual conversation as if nothing is wrong, making sure to mention how much they love them before their time runs out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby Don't Hang Up So I Can Tell You What You Need To Know

**Author's Note:**

> I own no rights to anyone in this story, sadly. (Cause if I did, Bucky's name would have been said in AOU at some point, but whatever).
> 
> Anyway, title taken from "Payphone" by Maroon 5. Prompt taken from tumblr. 
> 
> Please no one sue. 
> 
> With no further ado, enjoy! Happy reading!

Steve’s arm stretched desperately, the blood coating and dripping down his fingers, making them slip across the rocky terrain.

 

He groaned, misery and agony in his every movement, as he mentally berated himself for being so stupid, so careless. He knew HYDRA was still after him and Bucky, knew they were just waiting to get the drop, to make their move and either capture or kill them both.

 

But he had still gone on his run by himself. And he knew _, he knew_ , there was strength in numbers. That HYDRA was more scared of a fair fight than a child was afraid of the boogeyman. But, Sam was out of town visiting his mother and Bucky…

 

Bucky, six months after his return to Steve, after Steve’s words had broken him free from the HYDRA conditioning and brought him _home_ , was still having nightmares.

 

Most nights, Bucky would get a meager amount of sleep, perhaps four, five hours on a good night.  In the beginning, he’d wake up screaming and shouting, shaking violently from his nightmares, unable to calm down. At current, he would awake with perhaps a gasp, stiffening for a moment as he took in his surroundings.

 

A handful of nights, he wouldn’t be able to sleep at all. He’d be up, pacing, checking every window and door, keeping a constant check of the perimeter. On those nights, Steve stayed awake with him, or if Bucky felt guilty enough about Steve’s being awake that he became agitated, he would sleep on the couch, so Bucky wouldn’t be as alone.

 

However, rare evenings, that were thankfully become less and less rare, Bucky would sleep through the night, curled up next to Steve, his head resting on the blond’s chest, the steady beat of the super soldier’s heart lulling Bucky to sleep. And, as though he knew that Steve’s presence would always, _always,_ mean he was safe, Bucky would sleep as he used to, heavy enough that Steve would be able to get out of bed and go about his morning without disturbing Bucky’s slumber.

 

Steve relished in those moments. Knowing that Bucky was safe and warm and _loved_ , well-fed and better rested than he had been in 70 years, filled Steve with such happiness and contentment that, at times, he thought his heart would burst.

 

So this morning, when he woke up at the crack of dawn and Bucky had been asleep, mouth hanging open and a small puddle of drool pooling on his pillow, Steve couldn’t bring himself to wake the man. Instead, he gave Bucky the gentlest kiss on his forehead, left him a note on his pillow telling him he was going on a run and would be back in an hour or two.

 

Steve laced up his running shoes and headed out to the Billy Goat trails out between the Potomac River and the C&O Canal, hitting the paths harder than he ever dared when Bucky or Sam were with him.  Dropkick Murphy blared from his earbuds and the world faded away for a brief time.

 

And he knew better. Of course he knew better than to go out alone, without his shield or any weapons.

 

HYDRA agents had been lurking in the bushes, dozens of them, armed with tasers and batons and guns. All with one mission: kill Captain America.

 

And sadly, they had succeeded.

 

Steve had fought tenaciously, and despite the multiple bullets to the torso and shocks from the taser, he had managed to take all of them down.

 

However, right before they were claimed by the brink of unconsciousness, one agent was able to get off one more lucky shot, hitting Steve square in the chest. The impact had sent Steve staggering back a step-

 

Right over the cliff he was standing beside…

 

And onto the jagged rocks below.

 

Now, gasping for breath, his torso ripped apart and pierced through, he reached desperately for his phone that was mere inches from his fingertips, praying to the heavens above that it wasn’t broken from the fall.

 

No, Steve wasn’t planning on calling for help. He knew, here, in the early morning light with the cool breeze from the river water hitting his face, water spraying his body, that his time was up, that the reaper he had evaded time and time again was finally coming to collect.

 

But Steve’s last moment, the few precious seconds he had left, well, he wanted to make them count.

 

Finally, straining against the rock protruding from his torso and making the gaping wound even larger with his struggle, he was able to get his fingertips onto the phone, knocking it closer until he grasped it.

 

The screen was cracked, now covered in red fingerprints and smears of Steve’s blood, but it still lit up, the picture of Steve and Bucky kissing on the couch (Clint had taken it without either of them knowing) barely visible through the cracks, grime, and Steve’s fading vision.

 

Steve clumsily typed in the number for Bucky’s speed dial. After the third attempt, he was met with the glorious sound of the other line ringing. Laying on his back, the large rock still piercing his chest, he coughed wetly, his teeth and tongue getting coated with blood.

 

He spit out a mouthful, clearing his throat.

 

And thankfully, mercifully, the beautiful voice of Bucky Barnes filtered through the airwaves.

 

 _“Hey, Stevie.”_ The smile was evident in his lover’s voice. And, despite the pain, the fading vision, a grin tugged at Steve’s lips, because Bucky was having a good day. “ _You okay?”_

 

“Yeah, Buck, I’m fine.” Steve lied, turning his head away from the phone as he spit up the blood that had collected in his mouth. “Just wanted to….check on you.”

 

_“I’m peachy. You sure you’re alright, pal? You been gone awhile.”_

 

“Yeah, just….felt like getting a few extra miles in this morning.”

 

Bucky snorted. _“Like you need the cardio.”_ A beat. _“You gonna be home soon?”_

 

Steve managed a chuckle, having to pause to swallow the blood in his mouth so Bucky wouldn’t become suspicious. “What, miss me already?”

 

 _“You wish, Punk. I just want you to pick up some doughnuts.”_

 

“Jerk.” Steve said.

 

Tears began to build in the blond’s eyes, because _dammit_ he just got Bucky back. And Bucky had come so far. When Steve first found him, Bucky had been nothing more than a shadow, a shell, a face the Winter Soldier was wearing.

  
But, God, now Steve looked at Bucky and it was _Bucky._ He had started making the same corny puns, flashing the same cocky smirk, laughing that deep, shoulder shaking laugh, as he had before the war and now…

 

Steve slammed his eyes shut, the realization that he’d never see Bucky’s sleep mused hair again. Never set eyes on Bucky adorned in one of Steve’s oversized hoodies. He’d never hold Bucky in his arms and smell that earthy, clean, mountain scent mingled with the coconut shampoo Bucky was so fond of –

 

And, _oh God,_ he was going to leave Bucky alone. Yeah, the former assassin had struck up a friendship with Clint, who never pressured him to talk, but took him to the shooting range or watched movies with him, and had begun opening up to Sam on good days.

 

But, on bad days, Bucky needed Steve nearby. He needed that grounding, calm presence. Steve’s hand on his shoulder or arm around his waist. He needed the ankle crossed around his own under the table or the fingers running through his hair. And –

 

Steve bit down on his fist to quiet the sob that bubbled out of him, because how could he have been so stupid? So careless? Now Bucky was going to be all alone again, and Steve wasn’t going to be there to protect Bucky from HYDRA or the nightmares or himself.

 

He was supposed to be with Bucky ‘til the end of the line.

 

And Steve was going to fall short of that promise once more.

 

But, he had to make sure Bucky knew. Steve knew he only had a sliver of time left, a brief moment until he had to answer for all his mistakes and transgressions, and by God, he was going to make them count.

 

“Hey, Bucky.” Steve cleared his throat, a wet cough resulting. He focused all his energy on controlling his breathing and speech through the pain. “You know I love you, right?”

 

Bucky scoffed. _“Yes, you big sap. What’d you break this time?”_

 

“You’re,” Steve swallowed hard, the tears falling free, cutting clean lines through the dirt and blood on his face, “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. The serum, the fame – it doesn’t mean,” he grunted, closing his eyes against another wave of pain, “A thing without you.”

 

 _“Stevie….”_ Bucky’s voice sounded exasperated and embarrassed, but a hint of concern began to peek through.

 

“I’ve loved you,” a grunt, “since we were kids. Nothing’ll change that. Not in this world or the next.”

 

_“Baby, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”_

 

“You’re a great man, James Buchanan Barnes. Don’t ever –“

 

Steve’s vision began to blur and, no, damn it, he needed more time. He hadn’t told Bucky everything. _He doesn’t know how much I love him. That he’s the only reason I get up some mornings. I –_

 

 _“Steve. STEVE!”_ Bucky’s frantic voice broke him out of his thoughts, bringing him back to the land of the living for a brief time. _“Baby, are you hurt? Tell me where you are. I’ll find you, alright? Just keeping talking to me.”_

 

“N-no. I j-just….” Steve broke into a coughing fit. The jarring of his torso against the rock that was still impaled through his chest burned and ached so badly he would have screamed had he had the energy.

 

 _“Have you found him yet?! MOVE FASTER!”_ Steve heard Bucky’s muffled voice shout from the phone.

 

“Buck?” Steve’s voice was weak now, a whimper. But thank God Bucky heard him.

 

_“Yeah, Baby. I’m right here. Just hang on, okay? Keep talking. Tell me where you are.”_

 

“Bucky, promise me…” Steve let out a groan, his hand slipping in the puddle of blood that had gathered under his body. “Y-you’ll keep l-living. Once I’m g-gone.”

 

 _“Don’t you dare give up. Don’t you fucking dare, you hear me? I will never forgive you.”_ Bucky’s anger, mingled with desperation and fear - God, he sounded so afraid – broke Steve’s heart.

 

“Buck--”

 

 _“Don’t you ‘Buck’ me.”_ Steve heard rusting, and an increase in background noise behind him. _“You promised me ‘til the end of the line, Rogers. Well, we ain’t there yet, so don’t you dare think you can leave me.”_

 

Steve sobbed, the jolt it sent through his body should have filled him with pain, but he had gone completely numb. And he knew, he knew his time was nearly through, but he couldn’t – he didn’t want to leave this life with Bucky hating him.

 

“B-bucky.” And even to his own ears, it sounded so broken, so tiny and frail that a strong wind could break it.

 

Steve heard a sharp intake on the other end, and what sounded suspiciously like a sniffle. _“Don’t do this, please, don’t – I love you--”_

 

Steve smiled, content and at peace. Because that – _that_ was the last thing he wanted to hear. Because that was the only constant he had left, and if those were the words, if that was the sentiment that followed him to the afterlife or the pearly gates or whatever was next, well…Steve couldn’t think of anything he’d rather hear.

 

He let his eyes drift shut, the phone slipping from his hand and into the puddle of blood beneath him.

 

 _“Stevie? Baby?”_ He didn’t hear the words or the panic or the sob that chased them. “ _STEVE!”_

 

* * *

 

 

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

 

Steve slowly came back to consciousness, though everything was dark. His head felt cloudy and all his limbs were heavy and - _fuck_ , why did his chest feel like it was on fire?

 

 _This can’t be Heaven._ Steve thought, his mind recalling the tales of streets of pure gold and jewel covered walls and no pain or sorrow, and _God,_ was Steve in pain.

 

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep_

 

And that incessant beeping was annoying as fuck. Heaven isn’t supposed to be _annoying_.

 

A chill washed over Steve as he realized he wasn’t in Heaven. Because this was nothing like the nuns used to teach him and Bucky.

 

Of course, he would be in Hell. And absolutely not for the reason some demonic bigots would like to think.

 

No, Steve would be in Hell because he let Bucky fall from that damned train. Steve had vowed to himself, before he even asked Bucky to join the Howling Commandos, that if nothing else, Steve would ensure that Bucky made it home from the war safe and sound. And he had failed, and now it was time to pay for it.

 

But, did it really need to be so dark? Was that his -

 

_Oh, my eyes are closed._

 

His muddled brain took entirely too long to register the request, but finally, after a few failed attempts, his eyes opened and he took in the hospital room, the heavy gauze peaking out from beneath his hospital gown, and the numerous monitors and IVs attached to him.

 

Rolling his head to the side - and when the hell did _that_ become so difficult - he caught sight of Bucky. The older man was wearing one of Steve’s too large sweatshirts, the hood up. A few days worth of scruff were visible.

 

Steve’s lips tugged up at the corners, despite the pain that it caused. However, the smile quickly faded as his blurry vision came into focus and he could clearly see Bucky.

 

His boyfriend’s back was ramrod straight, sitting at complete attention. He didn’t flinch, didn’t fidget. His eyes stayed locked on the window, his breathing controlled and silent.

 

Steve swallowed around the lump that had quickly found its way into his throat. “Buck?”

 

Bucky didn’t move, didn’t even act like he had heard Steve.

 

“Bucky, hey. Come on.”

 

Bucky turned his head slowly to the side.

 

Steve’s sharp intake of breath shot pain through his chest, but he didn’t even flinch, because, this...this couldn’t be happening.

 

Bucky stared at him with those lifeless blue eyes - the same unknowing gaze that had met his on the streets of Washington D.C. and on the helicarrier. Despite numerous concerns, Bucky hadn’t slipped back into his Winter Soldier persona since he had returned to Steve. Yes, there was PTSD and nightmares and other ill effects that marked his time with HYDRA.

 

But, he had never slipped back into this persona. This hollow shell of the man Steve had loved since before he even knew what the word meant.

 

And God, nearly all the nightmares that plagued Steve revolved around Bucky becoming the Soldier again.

 

“Bucky, hey baby. It’s alright. I’m alright.” Steve said, groaning as he tried to sit up. And Steve, he wondered if perhaps he had died on that shore, because this - Bucky losing himself to the Winter Soldier - was undoubtedly Steve’s _Hell_.

 

Bucky barely blinked, his cold, lifeless eyes staring uncomprehendingly at Steve.

 

“Bucky, _please_.” Steve’s voice broke on the last word, tears building in his eyes.

 

Bucky began to blink rapidly, his shoulders slumping and his posture losing some of its rigidness.

 

It took him a few moments before he shook his head, his eyes finally focusing on Steve.

 

“Steve.” He breathed out, relief and love evident in the single syllable. “You’re awake.”

 

“Yeah.” Steve smiled, his hand reaching out for Bucky’s.

 

However, as soon as their skin made contact, Bucky jerked away from him, standing up so quickly it knocked over his chair.

 

“No.”

 

“Bucky-”

 

“No, you stupid, selfish idiot! What the hell were you thinking?”

 

“I didn’t know HYDRA would-”

 

“I don’t give a flying fuck about HYDRA. Why the hell wouldn’t you call Tony or Pietro or the X-Men with their fucking Blackbird to come get you.” He took a deep breath, his face equal parts anger and heartbreak. “You just fucking gave up.”

 

“Buck, I didn’t-”

 

“No? That wasn’t a goodbye call, then?” He didn’t give Steve a chance to begin speaking this time. “What happened to the end of the line, huh?”

 

“Buck-”

 

“Fuck you, Rogers.” He muttered, turning toward the door.

 

“Wait! Bucky!”

 

The former assassin was already out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

 

Steve instantly began trying to get out of the bed, pulling at IVs and wires. He was so focused on leaving he didn’t hear the door open and close again.

 

“Whoa! Whoa! Hey man.”

 

Sam Wilson’s hands grasped Steve’s wrists, halting his movements.

 

“Bucky! Someone needs to go after him!”

 

“Dude, relax.”

 

“He can’t leave. I can’t lose him again!”

 

“Clint and Natasha are already tailing him, alright? And JARVIS will let us know if he tries to leave the building. Isn’t that right, buddy?” He directed the question at the ceiling.

 

“Sergeant Barnes is currently on his and Captain Rogers’ floor. Agents Romanoff and Barton have accompanied him.”

 

“Let us know if he leaves the building?”

 

“Certainly, Staff Sergeant Wilson.”

 

Sam gave Steve a smile. “Nice to have you back in the land of the living.”

 

“How long have I been out?”

 

“Five days. Tony had you flown to the tower so he could bring in the best doctors.”

 

“How bad?”

 

“You flatlined three times, Steve. It was pretty damn bad.”

 

Steve swallowed loudly. “How’s Bucky?”

 

Sam sighed, putting Bucky’s now vacant seat up straight before sitting down. “Not so good. Won’t eat. Hasn’t slept. The more we were in here with you guys, the more agitated he seemed to get, so we just had JARVIS keep an eye on him.”

 

Steve tried to sit up. “I need-”

 

Sam placed a hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him back against the bed. “You _need_ to rest. Your boy’s going to be fine.”

 

“He was the Soldier again.”

 

“What?”

 

“When I woke up, his eyes...I can’t explain, but he was…” Steve let his voice trail off.

 

“Did he hurt you?”

 

Steve shook his head. “No, he snapped out of it pretty quickly.”

 

Sam hummed, considering for a moment. “You know, he didn’t have emotions as the Soldier.”

 

Steve nodded. Of course he knew this. He had read that file until it was burned into his memory, both as a means to help Bucky and to punish himself for his inability to protect the only man he’d ever loved.

 

“He was pretty worked up while you were in surgery - for _12 hours,_ man, you’ve got to stop doing this shit - but, he may have channeled that because he couldn’t deal with seeing you hurt.”

 

Another wave of guilt and pain washed over Steve, because _damn it,_ he was so sick of failing Bucky. Of falling short of protecting him when he’d always, always pulled Steve out of the fire.

 

“Hey, none of that.” Sam said, lightly nudging Steve’s arm. “Your boy’s gonna be fine. He’s just real upset you didn’t call for help.”

 

“I just- he needed to know.”

 

Sam gave Steve the most unimpressed look he could muster. “Have you seen the way you look at him? Cause I have. He definitely has. He _knows_ you love him, Steve. Hell, I’m pretty sure the entire damn planet knows at this point. And all of us are here to remind him if he ever doubts it.”

 

Sam reached forward, hand resting on Steve’s shoulder, giving him an uncharacteristically serious look.  “Next time, call for help first. None of us are ready to lose you, alright?”

 

Finally taking the time to really look at Sam, Steve could see the exhaustion in the other’s features, another bout of guilt breaking forth. The blond nodded, hand reaching up to rest over Sam’s who seemed to relax at the action.

 

“Get some rest. He just needs some time to cool down. He’ll be back soon.”

 

Steve nodded, his eyes already closing, taking him back to sleep.

 

* * *

 

 Steve awoke much quicker this time, the sound of the door closing jarring him from his slumber.

 

He looked up to see Bucky standing by the door, shoulders hunched and hands in his hoodie pocket. The scruff from before was gone, and his hair slightly damp. He shuffled from one socked foot to the other.

 

His eyes stayed glued to the floor.

 

“Hey Bucky,” Steve said softly.

 

Bucky seemed to curl farther in on himself at the greeting.

 

Steve sat up, thankful once more for the enhanced healing of the serum. “Come on, talk to me.”

 

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, eyes downcast.

 

“Got nothing to be sorry for, pal,” Steve insisted.

 

“I scared you. I…” He kicked his foot and Steve’s stomach lurched at how insecure Bucky sounded.

 

“Bucky…” Steve began, frowning. “Come on, Punk. Look at me.”

 

Bucky hesitated for a few moments before looking up at Steve.

 

The blond’s heart broke in half at the tears that were making their way down Bucky’s face.

 

“Ah, Buck.” He held his arms open, scooting over as much as he could. “C’mere.”

 

Bucky shook his head, hands burrowing further into his hoodie pocket.

 

“You aren’t gonna hurt me, Jerk,” Steve insisted, arms still open. When Bucky didn’t move, he made his voice softer. “Baby, please.”

 

The former assassin nodded, his feet quickly carrying him forward. He climbed into Steve’s bed and curled up beside him, arm wrapping lowly around Steve’s abdomen, well clear of his injury.

 

Bucky shook beside him, hands grasping at Steve’s hospital gown, face buried against Steve’s shoulder.

 

The blond lifted his hand, thankful the IV was on the other side, and ran it comfortingly through Bucky’s hair.

 

“I thought I lost you,” Bucky muttered. “I was on the comms when Tony found you. You didn’t have a pulse and he had to shock you -”

 

Steve kissed the top of Bucky’s head. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Then the doctors wouldn’t let me see you. For _fourteen hours._ And I thought…”

 

He let his voice trail off. The two remained like that for a few minutes, the solid presence of Steve seemingly calming Bucky.

 

The former assassin finally, reluctantly,  pulled his head away from Steve’s shoulder, meeting his gaze. “Next time, call for help first.” He raised a hand to cup Steve’s cheek. “I know, punk. Always have. I don’t need you dying because you’re trying to tell me something that’s common knowledge.”

 

Steve nodded. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

 

Bucky leaned forward, kissing Steve’s forehead. “I know. It won’t happen again though. I’ve got Tony designing a watch - which you will wear - that monitors your heart rate, blood pressure, brain function, a ton of other shit I’ve forgotten, and it’ll alert JARVIS if something’s wrong.”

 

“Okay.” Steve nodded, knowing better than to argue with this point. “You know, you scared me earlier.”

 

Bucky sighed, burying his head back in Steve’s shoulder. “The whole Soldier thing? Yeah, I know, I just...it was easier to handle everything with him. It’s- I’m fine now.”

 

Steve tightened his hold around Bucky, kissing the top of his head, doing his best to convey his own apology.

 

“I’m sorry. And I shouldn’t have left though. You were hurt and needed me and I just... “ Bucky gestured vaguely with his hand. “I’m not sorry I yelled at you earlier though,” he confirmed, much less somber than before. “Your dumbass fucking deserved it for scaring me so bad.”

 

“I know. I probably would have done the same. Hell, I used to yell at you all the time after you threw yourself into a fight to save me.”

 

Bucky nodded, kissing the underside of Steve’s jaw before snuggling closer.

 

Steve ran his hand through Bucky’s hair, a comforting reminder of his presence. “You look exhausted.”

 

Bucky nodded. “Couldn’t sleep.”

 

“Sam said you haven’t been eating.”

 

“Nat made me eat and shower before I came back,” he muttered. “Sorry it took  me so long.”

 

“I’m glad you were taking care of yourself.” Steve said, a yawn escaping him.

 

Bucky moved to sit up. “I should let you get some sleep.”

 

“Stay?” Steve asked, hopeful.

 

Bucky shook his head. “I could hurt you.”

 

“I’m fine, Bucky. It’ll help me sleep.”

 

Bucky contemplated for a moment, then finally nodded, laying down next to Steve and once more curling against him as close as possible.

  
Steve gave Bucky a quick kiss, his arm tightening around Bucky as his boyfriend whimpered. “I’m alright, Buck.”

 

“Please don’t leave me again,” Bucky whispered, voice thick with tears.

 

“I promise. ‘Til the end of the line, remember.” Steve ran his hand down Bucky’s cheek.

 

Bucky nodded, content. His flesh hand went to Steve’s wrist, maneuvering his hands so he could feel the pulsepoint.

 

“Love you, Stevie.”

 

“I love you too, Buck.” He gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. “Get some sleep.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I appreciate it!
> 
> Come hang out with me on tumblr: sgt-buckys-eyeliner.tumblr.com
> 
> And special shout out to my lovely friend for beta-reading this. You can find her at: floating-khoshek-floats.tumblr.com


End file.
